Many people my age are a product of parents who are bitterly divorced. On the other hand, none of this is exclusively a gay thing.
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Until very recently, few of us expected that we could get married, build families, and enjoy a stereotypically “normal” family life. Far too many of us have internalized the societal homophobia that sentenced us to lives punctuated by passion, but spent ultimately, inescapably alone. We have been conditioned to live in the eternal present, a sort of endless high school in which relationships are measured in months or years, not decades.Įven lesbians, U-Haul jokes notwithstanding, have felt this sense of impermanence. We sing along to Sia, living like tomorrow doesn’t exist. Gay culture has always been illustrated with images of young, hot, single men.
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It is much harder for many of us to build a bridge from casual to committed. It is astoundingly easy to meet lovers when the impulse strikes, quickly fulfilling our desire for physical intimacy.
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Those looking for cultural role models have thousands of muses to choose from - even a cursory list of LGBT artists, writers, and musicians would take the rest of this column.īut when it comes to relationships, to whom can we turn for inspiration and advice? Where do we find examples of healthy long-term same-sex relationships and learn how to build lifelong loves of our own?Įven in the midst of hookup and polyamorous culture, in which relationships are increasingly temporary and interchangeable, the desire for a more durable model remains. Young LGBT people looking for political role models find no shortage of them ready heroes include Harry Hay, Harvey Milk, Barney Frank, and Tammy Baldwin.